Who is Homo Simpson?

Springfield is to stage its firstever gay wedding, the 'Springfield Shopper' can exclusively reveal.

The shock news comes a weekafter gay marriages were legalised to raise money for charity.

The televised ceremony will beheld on Saturday at the FirstChurch and is expected to attracthundreds of screaming protesters.

Homer Simpson, who applied for the position of minister on the Internet, will perform the ceremony.

Mystery surrounds the identity of the couple. Rumour is rife that power plant boss Montgomery Burns, nearly 100, and his loyal PA Waylon Smithers are to tie the knot.

Last night, Mr Burns declined to comment. But Mr Smithers, who is in his 30s, told reporters: 'For the love of God, you're gonna have towait and see. Must go, Mr Burns needs one of his dentures.'

A church insider suggested it could be a lesbian affair involving Marge Simpson's sister, Selma Bouvier.

She was previously married to circus assistant Sideshow Bob butit ended in tears when he tried to blow her up on their honeymoon.

Chain-smoking Ms Bouvier told the Shopper: 'If you bother meagain, I will set the dogs on you.'

When asked about the rumours, Homer Simpson said: 'D'oh!', adding: 'Gee, my money wouldhave been on Moe.'