Pictures: xposurephotos.com, Michael Bezjian/Getty and catwalking.com
Excuse me, can I borrow you for a minute? Yes, you, the pedestrian jumper-wearer. Your old-fashioned dressing practice - ie, wearing your sweater with your head shoved through the round hole in the middle - will no longer be tolerated by style sophisticates. These days, it's all about draping your knits.
Don't believe me? Cast your eyes over the tricky trend stimulator that is Alexa Chung. Stepping out in California earlier this month, the clever clothes horse layered a bubble-gum-pink sweater over a candy-floss-coloured Oxford shirt. The result was a look that oozed a Sloaney sort of cool and the birth of a new trend that has fashion slaves desperately trying to achieve shoulder-draping perfection.
Sweater draping - in pictures
Not to be confused with shoulder robing - a fashion technique that demands you wear your coat placed on your shoulders and a trend pioneered what seems like a million years ago by the same Alexa Chung - shoulder draping is limited to spring knits and sweatshirts and requires the wearer to knot or drape their cover-up over their shoulders.
A tongue-in-cheek take on a look once saved for off-duty bankers and greying Portofino dwellers, 21st-century shoulder-draping is, sadly, not limited to the Marc Jacobs-wearing classes but to the chaps from TOWIE too. Witness Mark Wright.
So how to shoulder-drape without looking like you've taken a wrong turn out of the Pimm's tent at the Henley Regatta? Frankly, with great difficulty. But you could try swapping a twee knit for a marl-grey sweatshirt. Your drape needs to look organic - accidental, in fact. It's also key that you avoid all other posh-boy signifiers: red trousers, badly chosen wrap-around shades and anything George Osborne might consider summer-holiday attire.
For women who plan to shoulder-drape and are not blessed with the dressing know-how of Alexa Chung, drape an oversized jumper borrowed from husband/boyfriend/brother. Or take your lead from Phoebe Philo and try Asian-inspired deconstructivism - the designer used knotted sleeves to create features on coats and tabard tops last year. Of course, you'll hear no complaints from us if you decide to give the drape the cold shoulder.
