Stephen Sommers made The Mummy and he’s now contributed the daddy of all action thrillers based on a comic-book series its target audience (male teenagers) will probably not remember. It’s noisy, fast-paced and stuffed with special effects. The screenplay? You’ve got to be joking!
Few of its cast, led by Channing Tatum and Marlon Wayans, have more than a couple of lines to say before the spectacle takes over. Tatum and Wayans, along with a posse of others, are two audacious GIs who get fitted up with strange uniforms that enable them to survive car crashes, bullets and all the flak thrown at them. The foe is Cobra, a bunch of nasties who aim to dominate the world with technology you wouldn’t believe.
The most terrible thing that happens is the destruction of the Eiffel Tower. "Get me the French Ambassador" says Jonathan Pryce’s harried President of the USA when informed of the dirty deed. We don’t hear what that gentleman said but perhaps he was rendered speechless.
Sienna Miller, Rachel Miller, Dennis Quaid, and Christopher Eccleston struggle to get a word in edgeways.
G.I. Joe: The Rise Of Cobra
Cert: 12A
